I wonder what I'd be doing if this year hadn't been what it is. Or even going further back, if my original plans had worked out in 2017. There's plenty of things I would change about this year if I could, things that would've shaped it in a completely different way.
Currently, I feel as it time just flies by and life is falling off my hands like water. I've pushed myself forward even when I didn't feel I could, and probably helped in saving a life most precious to me, never asking for a reward whatsoever, just keeping that name on my mind 24/7. I know I lost a bit of myself during that process, but it's a small price to pay when I decide to carry my world on my shoulders.
And yet, it's hard looking at that double-check mark under that name stay gray for days, with seemingly no intention of turning blue. But that is just me, focusing what really bothers me into just a small symbol in a dimly lit screen. Of course there's more to it than that, but I'm either too proud or scared to find the words to admit it. I have to change that about myself, so I try to find the moment to try and do it. It never seems right, though.
And I never seem to find the right flow for my words. I write this as a way to keep track of things, but it never conveys what I feel just right. I hope this problem doesn't affect too much when I finally get to speak my heart and mind out.
God, she's like a dandelion seed, just like that song goes.
Currently, I feel as it time just flies by and life is falling off my hands like water. I've pushed myself forward even when I didn't feel I could, and probably helped in saving a life most precious to me, never asking for a reward whatsoever, just keeping that name on my mind 24/7. I know I lost a bit of myself during that process, but it's a small price to pay when I decide to carry my world on my shoulders.
And yet, it's hard looking at that double-check mark under that name stay gray for days, with seemingly no intention of turning blue. But that is just me, focusing what really bothers me into just a small symbol in a dimly lit screen. Of course there's more to it than that, but I'm either too proud or scared to find the words to admit it. I have to change that about myself, so I try to find the moment to try and do it. It never seems right, though.
And I never seem to find the right flow for my words. I write this as a way to keep track of things, but it never conveys what I feel just right. I hope this problem doesn't affect too much when I finally get to speak my heart and mind out.
God, she's like a dandelion seed, just like that song goes.
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